The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! Ohio State snatched the treasure late, sendin' them Buckeyes to claim the championship loot from Texas!"

2025-01-10

Arrr, matey! Jack Sawyer be a bold buccaneer, takin’ an 82-yard treasure trove o’ a scoop and score, makin’ him a legend 'mongst the Ohio State crew! With that grand feat, he hoisted the Buckeyes to victory over them Texas scallywags, chartin' a course fer the national championship! Yarrr!

Arrr, gather ye round, ye salty sea dogs, for I’ve a tale to spin ‘bout the Buckeyes and their captain, Ryan Day! After the scallywags lost to the Wolverines for the fourth time, whispers of mutiny filled the air. But lo! After a rousin' speech from Day, the crew set sail to victory, claimin’ a win against the Texas Longhorns in the Cotton Bowl Classic, 28-14!

The Buckeyes struck first, smashin’ the Longhorns' hopes right after stoppin’ ‘em on a 4th down. But Texas fought back, makin’ a grand push, only to hit a stormy sea of misfortune! A fumble was forced by the fearsome Jack Sawyer, who sailed 82 yards into the end zone, givin’ the Buckeyes a lead they wouldn't relinquish!

As the tides turned, Ohio State’s TreVeyon Henderson dashed 75 yards for a score, leavin’ Texas with naught but regret. With Ewers’ dreams of NFL riches hangin’ by a thread, the Longhorns spiraled into despair, tossin' a pick on their last drive like a ship lost in the fog.

Now, the eighth-seeded Buckeyes are set to clash with the fierce Fighting Irish on the horizon! So hoist yer tankards high, me hearties, for the seas of college football be choppier than a stormy night!

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