The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, ESPN be prayin' 'fore the Cotton Bowl, 'cause folks be fumin' over no anthem after a scallywag attack!

2025-01-11

Arrr! ESPN be settin’ sail on the Cotton Bowl, blessin’ the field with a prayer, after stirrin’ the pot 'bout not playin’ the national anthem! Aye, talk about a hullabaloo—prayin’ before kickin’ off, like a landlubber askin’ for mercy from Davy Jones hisself!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn from the Cotton Bowl seas where Ohio State clashed with the Longhorns of Texas! Before the ruckus began, a fine prayer was offered up by Captain Fred McClure, the former lord of the Cotton Bowl realm, to honor those lost to wicked storms and vile deeds in New Orleans.

With a heart full o' respect, McClure beseeched the Almighty for the well-being of the brave lads on the field. He shouted, "Keep 'em safe, ye divine sailor! And help these scallywags treat each other like true mates!" He even called for unity against the dark forces of violence and prejudice—aye, a noble quest indeed!

After the blessings, the Buckeyes sailed to victory, bestin' Texas 28-14, settin' their course for the grand championship against Notre Dame. But alas, ESPN faced a storm of dissent fer not broadcasting the national anthem at the Sugar Bowl, which led to a mighty backlash from the landlubbers. They scrambled to rectify their mistake, but many said it was too late, like a ship that had already set sail without its anchor!

And the Allstate company? They stirred the pot too, talkin' ‘bout divisiveness and trust. As a result, some fans threatened to walk the plank with their insurance! Aye, there be no rest for the weary in the world of sports! Arrr!

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