The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Tennessee's coach sent his best scallywag to the brig fer not doin' his job, savvy?

2025-01-12

Arrr, matey! Coach Rick Barnes be sayin’ he benched ol’ Chaz Lanier, the scallywag who scores like a cannon blast, during our grand victory over Texas! He claimed it be fer strategy, but I reckon he just wanted to keep the lad from hoggin’ all the glory!

Arrr mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn from the court of the Tennessee Volunteers, where Coach Rick Barnes be takin' the helm! In a recent battle against the Texas Longhorns, the salty sea dog decided to bench his top cannon, Chaz Lanier, for not doin' his duty on the field. With a mere 10 points in 34 minutes—ye might think Chaz be walkin' the plank!

Barnes, with the fire of a thousand cannons, declared, "If ye not be shootin' when the play be drawn, ye best be sittin' on the bench!" Aye, he didn’t mince words, lettin' Lanier know that with a shiny $1.7 million treasure chest in NIL, he ought to be puttin' more points on the board!

But worry not, for Barnes be not all scorn! He says, “Chaz, ye don’t need to be the top scorer, but ye best learn to cut like a true pirate and screen like a seasoned sailor!” With a record o' 15-1, the Volunteers be sailin' smooth seas, ready to conquer the SEC. So raise yer tankards to Coach Barnes and his merry crew! Yarr!

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