The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Special counsel Jack Smith be walkin' the plank from the DOJ while Trump be battlin' like a scallywag!

2025-01-12

Arrr, matey! Special Counsel Jack Smith be hoistin' his sails from the Justice ship, just as Trump and his crew be tryin’ to bury his treasure map of crimes! He scuttled off ten days ‘fore the new captain takes the helm. Aye, 'twas a departure as clear as the ocean's depths!

Avast, me hearties! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the tale of one Jack Smith, the Special Counsel of the land, who decided to hoist the anchor and set sail from the Department of Justice on a fine Friday morn. Aye, it be true! Just as President-elect Donald Trump and his crew o' scallywags plotted to keep Smith's final report sealed tighter than a treasure chest, our noble Smith took his leave.

This brave soul, appointed by the mighty Attorney General Merrick Garland in the fair month of November in the year 2022, be not one to linger. Nay! He made his exit a mere ten sunsets before the grand inauguration of Captain Trump and his ship of misfits.

Now, Smith's departure was as expected as a parrot squawkin' on a pirate's shoulder, for he had hinted that he’d be casting off before the new captain could even raise his flag. So here we be, left with whispers of his findings, like buried treasure waiting to be unearthed, while our matey Trump and his band of buccaneers scurry about, tryin' to keep the secrets of the high seas hidden. Will the truth ever see the light o' day? Only the winds of fate know, me hearties!

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