Arrr! Caitlin Clark’s pesky stalker caught, blabberin’ vile words to our fine WNBA lass! What a scallywag!
2025-01-13
Arrr, a scallywag from Texas was clapped in irons on the Sabbath, accused of sendin' lewd missives and stalkin' the fair Caitlin Clark, a star of the WNBA seas! Avast, what be the world comin' to when a pirate can't even send a randy note without bein' caught!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of a Texas scallywag named Michael Thomas Lewis, a 55-year-old knave who found himself in a world of trouble for sendin' wicked missives to the fair lass, Caitlin Clark, a star player of the Indiana Fever.This rascal was charged with stalkin’ and threatenin’ sexual battery, a right foul deed that landed him in the brig with a Level 5 felony hangin' over his head! It be said he sent her many a provocative message through the dreaded X account, claimin’ to have circled her quarters like a shark a-sniffin' for blood. He even had the audacity to suggest she oughtn’t call the law “just yet!”
When confronted by the authorities, the daft buccaneer spun a tale of vacation dreams in Indianapolis, callin’ his messages mere jestin’ and “fantasy-type things.” But alas, the lass was frighted enough to raise the alarm! The good Marion County Prosecutor, Ryan Mears, commended her courage, for it takes grit to stand up against such scoundrels.
So, me mateys, let this be a lesson: beware the treacherous seas of the heart and keep yer messages above board, lest ye find yerself walkin’ the plank! Yarrr!