Arrr, Dragon Age's scribbler be defendin' Starfield's lack o' courtin' choices. Avast, no love on th' high seas!
2023-07-02
Arr, methinks smooches be not fer every scurvy dog aboard this ship! Nay, ye must be havin' the charm o' a buxom wench or the ruggedness o' a fearsome pirate to win such favors!
Arrr, me hearties! Gather round, for I be tellin' ye a tale of the high seas and the curious happenin's that transpired aboard the pirate ship, The Jolly Roger.Now, me mateys, ye see, there be a young lad named Jack aboard our vessel, who had a peculiar aversion to smooches. Aye, ye heard me right! While the rest of us swashbucklers found joy in the embrace of a fair maiden or a hearty fellow pirate, Jack be havin' none of it. He claimed that smoochin' be a foolish endeavor, akin to a parrot tryin' to fly without wings.
The crew, bein' a merry bunch, found great amusement in Jack's misgivings. We'd often tease him, sayin' that his lips be cursed and that the sea gods would be offended if he dared lock his mouth with another soul. We'd jestingly offer him a smooch from our lips, only to be met with a scowl and a swift retreat.
One fateful eve, as we sailed beneath a moonlit sky, a shipwrecked lass named Rose joined our ragtag crew. She be a vision of beauty, with fiery red hair and a spirit as wild as the open ocean. Now, ye might be thinkin' that Jack's heart would be stolen by Rose's charm, but alas, his aversion to smooches remained unyieldin'.
The crew, ever mischievous, conspired to bring Jack and Rose together. They arranged a grand feast, with grog flowin' and music playin'. As Jack and Rose danced beneath the starry night, the crew encircled them, cheerin' and jestin'.
But try as they might, our two wayward souls couldn't bring themselves to share a smooch. Jack claimed he'd rather walk the plank than give in to such foolishness, and Rose, bein' a spirited lass, declared she'd sooner swim with the sharks.
And so, me hearties, the tale of Jack and his aversion to smooches be a reminder that love comes in many forms. Some be destined for hugs and smooches, while others be content with a hearty handshake or a friendly pat on the back. As for Jack, well, he be a pirate through and through, sailin' the seas with his lips sealed tight, forever defyin' the siren's call of a smooch.