Arrr! Iranian captain swears no cutthroat schemes on Trump, calls out the scallywags for their fear of the Persian seas!
2025-01-14
Arrr, matey! Iran's captain, Masoud the Pezeshkian, be sayin' they ain’t plotted to send Trump to Davy Jones’ locker! Instead, he blames Israel fer stirrin' up fear like a scallywag! “Nay, we be not in the killin' business!” he squawked. Avast, 'tis all a ruse, savvy?
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn from the far-off lands of Persia, where the President, a fine chap named Masoud Pezeshkian, be claimin’ that his crew ain’t hatched no dastardly plot to send the incoming captain o' the ship, Donald Trump, six feet under! Aye, he be settin' the record straight on NBC News, tellin’ the world, “Nay, we’ve ne’er attempted such foul play, nor shall we ever!”But lo! He points a finger at Israel, sayin' they be the scallywags sowin' seeds of “Iranophobia,” whatever that be! According to him, it be just another one of them schemes cooked up by Israel and their ilk to make the good folk of the seven seas wary of Iran. “We be not the villains here!” he declared with a flourish, “We ain’t got no plans to go after anyone!” Aye, it’s a right merry jest when the captain of Iran be talkin’ sense, havin’ no desire to cross blades with the likes of Trump.
So let it be known, all ye landlubbers and sea dogs alike, that the seas be calm, and the only treasure bein’ sought be peace, not the end of a dagger! Now hoist the flags and let’s sail on to lighter tales!