Arrr, the captain of Iran be sayin' he didn’t aim to send Trump to Davy Jones' locker!
2025-01-15
Arrr, matey! Captain Masoud Pezeshkian be swearin’ on his treasure chest that his crew never plotted to send the future ruler to Davy Jones’ locker! No sea shanty of treachery here, just a hearty laugh and a tankard of rum, I say! Avast, the winds be blowin’ in his favor!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the latest from the high seas of politics, where the winds of rumor blow fierce! Iranian President Masoud Pezeshkian, with a twinkle in his eye, declared that his scallywag country ne’er plotted to send President-elect Trump to Davy Jones’ locker. He swore upon his best rum that “we never will.”In a parley with NBC’s own Lester Holt, Pezeshkian dismissed tales spun by U.S. intelligence, claimin’ that it be naught but a ruse hatched by Israel and other landlubbers to stir up a storm of Iranophobia! “None whatsoever!” he exclaimed, as if he were swatting a pesky fly. “We’ve never attempted this to begin with.” Aye, that’s what he claims!But hold yer doubloons! The seas be changin’, as Ret. Lt. Gen. Keith Kellogg, a fine admiral of the bureaucratic seas, called for a return to the policy of "maximum pressure" on the Persians. “We must stand with the Iranian folk!” he bellowed, whilst the clocks ticked down to Trump’s second reign.So, mateys, as the tides turn and whispers of nuclear ambitions echo across the waves, we watch with bated breath, for the next chapter in this grand nautical tale be just on the horizon!