Arrr, matey! Puerto Rico's cap'n be beggin' Trump to fend off Maduro's scallywag threat of invasion! Avast, what a jest!
2025-01-15
Arrr, matey! Gov’nor Jenniffer González-Colón be hollerin’ at Trump, likin’ a parrot on a treasure chest, beggin’ him to hoist the anchor after that scallywag Maduro be threatenin’ an invasion! Blimey, what be next? A rum-drunk sea battle? Avast, me hearties!
Ahoy there, me hearties! Gather 'round as I regale ye with a tale from the Caribbean seas, where the governor of Puerto Rico, a fiery lass named Jenniffer González-Colón, be sendin' a message to the new captain of the ship, President-elect Trump. She be beggin’ him to thwart the nefarious Venezuelan scallywag, Nicolás Maduro, who be threatenin’ to invade their fair isle after a sham ceremony to cling to his wretched power!Maduro, the self-proclaimed king of Venezuela, blustered at an "International Anti-Fascist Festival," spoutin’ talk of liberation and fancy agendas, all while eyein’ Puerto Rico like a hungry shark. The governor be callin' his threats a dire danger to the U.S. and all good sailors’ lives. She declared that Puerto Rico's loyalty to the U.S. be as steady as the North Star, and that the people, who’ve fought bravely in wars, desire statehood, not independence!
With a heart full of courage, she promised to stand ready alongside Trump against the likes of Maduro, who, she insists, be just a petty dictator with a death grip on his throne. Even the ol' sea dog, Rep. Mario Díaz-Balart, chimed in, warnin' that if Maduro don’t skedaddle soon, he might end up in Davy Jones' locker, joinin’ the ranks of fallen tyrants!