The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The scallywag who mocked a lass for rootin’ fer the Pack be walkin’ the plank o’ employment! Cheers, me hearties!

2025-01-15

Arrr! The scallywags o' social media be hootin' and hollerin' at the keel-haulin' o' Ryan Caldwell, that Eagles fan! His foul mouth caught on the seas o' the internet, gettin' a right laugh as he tried to swab his apology clean, but the tide be against him!

Arrr, mateys! Gather round fer a tale o' a scallywag named Ryan Caldwell, an Eagles fan who found himself in a stormy sea o' trouble at a recent playoff clash with the Packers. This landlubber was caught on film unleashin' a vile tirade upon a fair lass, Ms. Ally Keller, who dared to cheer for the enemy. Aye, his foul words sailed across the internet like a cannonball, and soon enough, he was walkin' the plank from his job at BCT Partners!

Now, our hapless hero did toss out an apology, claimin' he acted like a barnacle under duress, but the tides were against him. He lamented, “What began as mere banter escalated into a tempest,” as if that made it all right! The crew on social media had a field day, laughin' and mockin' him for his ill choice of words, callin' it "social media justice."

Ye see, the Eagles' reputation for unruly conduct is as notorious as a pirate's curse! With a history of rowdy fans, it seems Caldwell be just another fish in a sea of raucous revelry. As the Eagles prepare to face the Rams next, one can only wonder if Caldwell be learnin' to keep his tongue in check lest he find himself in Davy Jones' locker, metaphorically speakin’, of course!

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