"Avast, mateys! A scallywag suspected of foul deeds be sailin' back to the colonies for a reckoning!"
2025-01-16
Arrr! 'Tis said that scallywag Ian Cleary, accused o' foul deeds at a jolly shindig in Gettysburg in the year of our Lord 2013, be walkin' the plank back to the good ol' U.S. of A., or so the high seas officials be claimin'! Avast, matey!
Arrr matey! Gather 'round fer a tale of treachery and folly from the high seas of scandal in this here modern world! A scallywag by the name of Ian Cleary, hailing from the sunny shores of California, found himself in a right pickle after he sailed the seas of trouble back in 2013. 'Twas a dark night when he allegedly stalked a fair lass, a student from Gettysburg College, sneakin' into her dorm while she cried out for help like a lost sailor in a storm!Fast forward many moons, and this knave thought he could escape the long reach of justice, until he be found in the lands of France, where he was nabbed by the authorities quicker than a parrot on a shoulder! Aye, they turned him over to the U.S. Marshals at Charles de Gaulle Airport, where he got a one-way ticket back to face the music for his dastardly deeds.
But the tale doesn’t end there! This scoundrel had the gall to send the brave lass a message sayin', "So I raped you," as if it were a jest! Aye, he thought he could just sail away with his life, but the sea of justice be unforgiving. With a fine crew of legal eagles and a heart of steel, the lass fought long and hard, pushin' through treacherous waters to get her day in the court. Let this serve as a warning to all ye rogues—justice be a storm that cannot be outrun!