The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Kirby be hopin' them Yanks in Gaza set sail Sunday, but it seems the deal's caught in a squall!

2025-01-16

Arrr, the White House's trusty sea dog, John Kirby, be claimin’ he’s as sure as the tide that a deal be settlin’ on Sunday! But lo! The swabs in Israel be sayin’ Hamas be backin’ out like a scallywag at a dance! What a raucous jest, I say!

Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with news from the choppy seas of politics! The grand John Kirby, a seafarer of national security, be sayin' he’s as confident as a ship captain with a fair wind blowin' that a cease-fire and a deal for the return of hostages be settin' sail this Sunday! Yarrr, families of two Americans be waitin' with bated breath for the tide to turn!

Kirby be claimin' there be a deal in the works, workin' hard with the Israelis to smooth out the rough patches, like a sailor patchin' a sail. But alas, confusion erupted when Prime Minister Netanyahu, like a parrot squawkin' on a shoulder, declared that Hamas be causin' a ruckus, tryin' to back out, as if they be playin' a game of pirate poker!

But fear not, Kirby be resolute, sayin’ "It’s not breakin' down!" as he navigates through the murky waters of this high-stakes game. With 33 hostages set to be released, including some poor souls like children and the aged, we be hopin' for safe passage home.

So, raise a tankard, me hearties, and pray that this deal sails smoothly! For every American and Israeli caught in this storm deserves a fair wind to guide 'em back to safety!

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