The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! ESPN be shoutin’ that ol' sea dog Dick Vitale be back on the air after wrestlin' with the scurvy cancer!

2025-01-17

Arrr, matey! For over three years, the famed swashbuckler o' the basketball seas, Dick Vitale, tangled with four nasty cancers! Come the summer of 2024, he set sail for yet another medical skirmish. Aye, that be one tenacious buccaneer!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout the grand ol' seafarer o' college basketball, Dick Vitale, makin’ his triumphant return to the airwaves after bein’ lost at sea fer near two years! Aye, this ol’ sea dog last set sail on the ESPN ship way back on the 3rd o’ April, callin' the ruckus between them UConn Huskies and San Diego State Aztecs in the national championship bout.

Now, the salty sea captain be settin’ course fer Duke and Wake Forest on the 25th o’ January, ready to regale the crew with tales of hoops and heroics! At the ripe age of 85, he’s faced more battles with cancer than a ship in a storm, but fear not, for he hath declared himself cancer-free after a fierce fight!

With gratitude in his heart, ol’ Vitale thanked his loyal fans and cherished ESPN crew, callin’ them his second family. After over 40 years on the airwaves, havin’ called a thousand games and earned his place in the Broadcasting Hall of Fame, this jolly pirate be ready to bring his zest back to the game. So hoist the flags and ready the cannons, for Dick Vitale’s return be a sight to behold! Arrr!

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