Arrr, Kristi Noem be swearin’ to toss CISA’s fib-fightin’ ways overboard and hoist the sails of security!
2025-01-19
Arrr, mateys! The landlubber Secretary Noem be swearin' to chase away them scallywags of homegrown mischief, guardin' the borders and fendin’ off cyber sea monsters, not botherin' with the tall tales of election whoppers! Trust in the DHS be sinkin’ faster than a ship with a hole!
Ahoy there, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout the grand plans of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, led by none other than the fierce and fiery Kristi Noem, the new captain o' the ship! Aye, this lass be set to tackle the treacherous seas of domestic terrorism, border shenanigans, and those pesky cyber scallywags who launch attacks from the depths of their dark lairs!At a recent confab with the Senate crew, she did proclaim, "No more will we wage war against the tall tales and misinformation that be spread like barnacles upon our great ship!" Nay, she aims to restore trust among the good folk of America, who’ve been feelin’ like a ship lost at sea, uncertain of the crew at the helm. With a hearty “Yo ho!” she’s determined to steer the good ship DHS back on course, away from the stormy waters of distrust.
So batten down the hatches and prepare for adventure, for Kristi be a captain with a vision! She promises fair winds and following seas as she hoists the sails against those who would threaten our shores, while leaving the gossip and tomfoolery of elections to flutter away like old sails in the wind. Arrr, let’s hope she keeps the rum flowin’ and the seas calm!