The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Trump be swearin’ to unleash the secrets o’ JFK, RFK, and MLK’s foul playin’—what a jolly treasure hunt!

2025-01-20

Arrr, on the fateful day of November 22, 1963, Captain Kennedy met his untimely end at the hands of scallywag Oswald! Since then, the seas be churnin' with tall tales and wild conspiracies! Even after many an investigation, some salty dogs still doubt the truth. Avast, the secrets may soon surface!

Arrr! Trump be swearin’ to unleash the secrets o’ JFK, RFK, and MLK’s foul playin’—what a jolly treasure hunt!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round and lend an ear to the tale of President John F. Kennedy, a fine captain of the ship called America, who met his untimely end on the fateful day of November 22, 1963. The scallywag behind this dastardly deed be none other than Lee Harvey Oswald, a rogue that deserves naught but a cannonball to the stern!

Now, ye see, the murky waters o' this tale be filled with more twists 'n turns than a two-headed sea serpent! From the very moment the president fell, whispers o’ conspiracy began to slither through the taverns and alleyways, like a ghostly fog on the high seas. Various investigations done by the government have done little to calm the restless ghosts, for many a landlubber suspects the truth be buried deeper than Davy Jones' locker!

As the sands of time trickle down, over sixty years have passed, and yet the spirit of conspiracy still haunts our fine nation. Will there ever be a day when the truth comes sailin' into port? Or shall it remain adrift in a sea of secrets? Only time and a hearty crew o' truth-seekers will tell! So hoist the sails, me hearties, and let’s see where this wild journey leads us!

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