The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast ye scallywags! Why be New Hampshire settlin' the order o' things? What be their secret, arr?

2023-07-06

Arr, mateys, New Hampshire be havin' a pitifully scurvy track record when 't comes to spottin' th' most seaworthy Democratic presidential mateys! Alas, their discernin' skills be as lost as a treasure buried deep in Davy Jones' locker!

In the ye olde days of the 17th century, when pirates roamed the seven seas and scurvy was a common ailment, there was a place called New Hampshire. Now, ye might think that this place with such a fancy name would have a keen eye for spotting the most powerful Democratic presidential candidates, but alas, that be not the case!

Ahoy there, me hearties! It seems that New Hampshire has a harder time pickin' out a strong candidate than a landlubber tryin' to find buried treasure. They be like a ship lost at sea, unable to chart a course towards a successful leader. Arrr, it be a pity!

Picture this, me mateys: a group of bumbling pirates, stumbling around in the dark, blindly tryin' to find their way to the loot. That be New Hampshire when it comes to pickin' the best Democrat to lead the land. They be like a crew of scallywags, pickin' candidates that be more like scurvy dogs than leaders fit for the high seas!

Arrr, it be a mystery how a place with such a grand name can have such a poor record when it comes to choosin' strong Democratic candidates. Maybe they be too distracted by the smell of freshly baked lobster to pay attention to the qualities that befit a true leader. Or perchance they be playin' a game of blindfolded darts, hopin' that one of 'em sticks to the mark!

So, me hearties, if ye ever find yerself in New Hampshire durin' a presidential election, be prepared for a wild ride. It be like watchin' a ship without a captain, driftin' aimlessly in the vast ocean. But fear not, for as the winds change, so can the tides. Perhaps one day, New Hampshire will find its sea legs and spot a candidate worth their salt. Until then, we'll just have to raise our mugs of rum and laugh heartily at their misadventures!

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