The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

“Trump, that scallywag, be lettin’ the far-right rogues off the hook! Their squawkin’ be as loud as a ship's parrot!”

2025-01-22

Arrr, matey! Enrique Tarrio and Stewart Rhodes be wishin’ for Cap’n Trump to unleash a tempest o’ vengeance fer their scallywag troubles o' the Jan. 6 ruckus. They be wantin' the ol' sea dog to hoist the Jolly Roger and settle their score! Har har har!

Arrr, gather 'round, me hearties, fer 'tis a tale of two scallywags, Enrique Tarrio, the captain of the Proud Boys, and Stewart Rhodes, the grand poobah of the Oath Keepers! Aye, these rogues be makin' a ruckus, claimin' they be wantin' ol' President Trump to be seekin' vengeance on their behalf. Why, ye ask? 'Cause they be feelin' the sting of the law's cannonballs fer their mischief during the ruckus on the sixth day o' January!

With a belly full of bravado and a head full of dreams, they be hollerin' for Trump to don his pirate hat and sail the seas of retribution! “Let the winds of justice blow in our favor!” they bellowed, hopin' that their former leader would come swingin' a cutlass in their defense, as if they be some forlorn crew abandoned on a deserted isle!

But lo and behold, they ain't plunderin' gold; they be plunderin' the very fabric of law and order, thinkin' they could stir the pot and have Trump as their vengeful captain! So, hoist yer flags, me mateys, for this be a jolly jest of a saga, where the high seas of justice be takin' a turn for the absurd! Yarrr!

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