The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! Biden's farewell pardons be sendin' a right awful message, says the matey from Obama’s crew, ha-ha!"

2025-01-23

Arrr! Tommy Vietor, the ol' mouthpiece fer Obama, be chattin' 'bout Biden's last-minute pardons an' the fate o' the Democratic ship on the 'Jesse Watters Primetime' show. Aye, 'tis a right merry spectacle for landlubbers to behold! Avast, what a hullabaloo!

Arrr, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn ‘bout the ruckus rais’d when ol’ Captain Biden pardoned his kin moments before he sailed off into the sunset! Aye, Tommy Vietor, once a spokesperson fer the Obama ship, be callin’ foul on the captain's decision, sayin’ it sends a wretched message to the seven seas.

In a jolly banter on "Jesse Watters Primetime," Tommy declared, "That pardon power be too vast, like a treasure chest filled with rum! We ought to hoist a constitutional amendment, sayin’ no pardons fer oneself, family, or crew!" He be likin’ the idea of Congress workin’ together to keep the pardons from goin’ to scallywags.

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