The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Newark’s captain be blamin’ ICE fer snaggin’ good folk an’ a sea dog vet in their clutches!

2025-01-24

Arrr, on the morn of Jan. 23, a band of ICE scallywags raided a Newark tavern, ruffling the feathers o’ the town’s leaders. Mayor Ras Baraka, a captain runnin’ fer governor, be claimin’ they snatched good souls, even a brave sea dog of the military! Avast, what folly!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather ye round and lend me yer ears! On the fateful day of January the 23rd, the scallywags from Immigration and Customs Enforcement, or ICE as they be called in the land of the landlubbers, set sail into the bustling port of Newark, New Jersey. Arrr, their mission? To hunt down them who be dwellin’ in the shadows, like barnacles on a ship's hull! But lo and behold, the good mayor of Newark, Ras Baraka, a man of the people and a fierce contender for the governor’s crown, raised a mighty ruckus about it!

“Avast, ye knaves!” he cried, “Ye be snatchin’ good folk right off the streets, including a brave veteran who once wore the colors of the mighty United States!” The good mayor painted a picture of ICE as a band of buccaneers, pillagin’ and plunderin’ without regard for the innocent. The winds of outrage blew strong through the city, as citizens rallied behind their leader, demandin’ justice for all and a swift end to such treacherous tactics.

So, let it be known across the seven seas, when the government be actin’ like a crew of sea rogues, the people shall stand firm, for no pirate worth his salt shall let injustice sail unchallenged!

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