The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Justin's mum be sayin' the truth’ll sparkle like gold, amidst the Lively tempest! Keep yer honor, matey!

2025-01-25

Arrr, a month after Blake Lively's cannonball of a lawsuit for mischief in the night, Justin Baldoni's crew be holdin' steady, throwin' hearty cheers and jolly jests to keep him sailin' through the stormy seas of legal squabbles! Avast, me hearties!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of the valiant Justin Baldoni, a scallywag amidst a tempestuous legal squall with the fair Blake Lively. This be no ordinary tale, for it be his birthday too, the lad turned 41 and received love from his loyal crew—his wife Emily and his mum, Sharon. Aye, Sharon spun a heartfelt tribute, recalling joyous days on set, where kinship bloomed like a fine ship in full sail.

But hark! This tale darkens, for Lively be throwin' accusations of sexual harassment like cannonballs in the courtroom, while Baldoni retaliates with a mighty $400 million lawsuit, accusing her and her matey, Ryan Reynolds, of civil extortion. It seems the fine lad had to consult the intimacy coordinator alone, whilst Lively preferred to keep her distance—how scandalous! He claims this led to a most uncomfortable working arrangement, aye!

In a twist of fate, Baldoni be unleashing unedited footage from their film “It Ends With Us,” to defend his honor. This prompted Lively’s crew to call for a gag order on Baldoni’s lawyer, claiming his words be stirring the pot too much! The ship be rocky, and both sides be ready for a fierce fight on the legal high seas. So hoist the sails, for this be a showdown of epic proportions! Yarrr!

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