"Arrr, matey! The scallywags be settin' aside the Title IX hunt for Todd Golden, says his crafty lawyer!"
2025-01-27
Arrr, mateys! Coach Todd Golden o' the Florida Gators be free as a seagull! The scallywags’ whispers o’ misdeeds be cast aside like an empty rum bottle, says his trusty legal parrot. No more stormy seas fer him! Avast, let the games begin!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round fer a right merry tale from the high seas of college basketball! The honorable Todd Golden, captain of the Florida Gators’ ship, has been cleared of all foul charges, as proclaimed by his trusty legal matey, William Shepherd. Aye, the investigation led by the University found naught but seaweed in the allegations cast against him.Once upon a time in November, whispers of misconduct floated about, claiming our brave coach had gone a bit too far with his advances on unsuspecting maidens—making unfathomable requests and sendin’ inappropriate images. Har har! But fear not! The winds have shifted, and it turns out these tales were more like a drunken sailor's yarn than the truth!
Shepherd be scolding those scallywags who tried to spin a false narrative, claiming that many a black-hearted soul sought to tarnish Golden's name for their own selfish gain. “Let it be known!” he cried, “Coach Golden be ready to sail on with his team, and seek revenge during the off-season!”
So raise yer tankards and give a hearty cheer, for justice has prevailed on these treacherous waters! May the Gators charge forth into battle, unburdened by slander, ready to seize victory on the court! Yarrr!