The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast! Who be this scallywag Gustavo Petro, the first lefty captain of Colombia, once a rogue Marxist sea dog?

2025-01-28

Arrr! A ruckus be brewin’ twixt the Captain Trump and the scallywag Petro from Colombia! This old sea dog, once a Marxist buccaneer, be sailin’ against the winds of Washington. Aye, 'tis a jolly hullabaloo! Let the barrels roll and the laughter echo!

Ahoy, mateys! So, it seems there be a ruckus brewin' on the high seas of politics, as President Donald Trump and the Colombian captain, Gustavo Petro, be squawkin' on the social media like a pair o' squawkin' parrots! This weekend, Trump, that scallywag, threatened to unleash a 50% tariff on Colombian treasures if they didn’t take back some shiploads of deported landlubbers.

But fear not! Just as the winds shifted, ol’ Petro did a quick about-face, agreeing to let the planes fly back, all while hissin’ about Trump's greediness and the importance of his country's pride. This be no ordinary captain; he once roamed the seas as a Marxist guerrilla before takin' the helm of Colombia!

With the ink barely dry on his threats, the Colombian crew began hoistin' the white flag, and plans were set for the foreign minister to sail to Washington to smooth things over. Despite the ruckus, it seems ol’ Petro’s got a knack for shakin' hands after all that hollerin'. So, let’s anchor our hopes for calmer waters ahead, or we might just find ourselves in the midst of a trade tempest!

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