"Ye olde foes of Lia Thomas be howlin' 'bout abuse, beggin' Georgia's lords to shun the lassies in sports!"
2025-01-31
Arrr! Once upon a time, fair maidens of the pool, Kylee Alons and Kaitlynn Wheeler, did regale the Georgia Senate with tales of their scuffle against the fearsome Thomas at a grand hearing. Aye, ‘twas a spectacle fit for a jolly crew of swashbucklers!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with a tale from the fair shores of Georgia, where a band o' Senate scallywags be passin' the Fair and Safe Athletic Opportunities Act! Yarr, this law be seekin' to keep the ladies' sports free from the likes of biological chaps who fancy themselves as lasses. 'Twas a raucous assembly, filled with brave lasses who shared their tribulations sharin' locker rooms with transgender sailors. Aye, they spoke of their woes, feelin' like guinea pigs in a grand experiment by the NCAA!One such lass, Kylee Alons, a champion of the waters, shed tears as she watched the competition be unfairly skewed. And that vile Thomas, a biological lad, strutted about like the captain of a pirate ship, leavin' the lasses feelin' uneasy and exposed! 'Twas a right pickle, that locker room, where many a lass felt the chill of discomfort and fled to hide in storage closets rather than face the pirates amongst 'em!
Yet, the bill sailed through with a hearty vote, affirming that the seas of women’s sports be for women born of the fairer sex! But beware, for opposition lurks nearby, with wails of concern for the well-behaved lads and lasses lost in this stormy debate. So hoist the flags, me hearties, for the battle rages on in the realm of sports!