The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

In the land o' South Carolina, Biden proclaims his grand agenda be makin' all scallywags from both parties happy!

2023-07-06

Avast ye scurvy dogs! President Biden be callin' out them pesky Republican scallywags, who be a-hollerin' against his policies! Yet, these bilge rats' own folks be reapin' the bounty o' billions in federal coin! Arrr, the irony be thicker than the fog o' the high seas!

"Arr matey! The cap'n, President Biden, be havin' a bone to pick with them scurvy Republican lawmakers! He be sayin' that these landlubbers have been attackin' his policies, yet their very own constituents be reaping the rewards o' the federal booty, worth billions, me hearties!"

Ahoy! It seems that ol' Biden be takin' a swipe at them Republicans, claimin' they be two-faced bilge rats. These scalawags be talkin' a big game, criticizin' the President's actions and policies, but little do they know that their own people be benefitin' from the treasure chest of federal funding.

Now, don't ye be thinkin' that Biden be takin' this lightly! He be callin' out these powdery-wig-wearin' scoundrels, pointin' out the hypocrisy in their words. They be wagging their tongues, denyin' the worth o' his actions, while their very own voters be reapin' the spoils of his administration's generosity.

Arr, it be quite the sight to see! The President be settin' sail on a stormy sea, navigatin' through a sea of political trickery. He be swingin' his cutlass, exposin' the truth behind these Republican lawmakers' deceitful ways.

But ye may be wonderin', why be Biden takin' this humorous approach, ye ask? Well, me matey, it be a tactic to undermine the credibility o' these scurvy dogs. By speakin' in the language o' a 17th century pirate, he be makin' light o' their foolishness and makin' 'em look like a bunch o' bumbling fools.

So, me hearties, next time ye be hearin' a Republican lawmaker badmouthin' the President's policies, remember that their very own constituents be benefitin' from the federal treasure chest. Biden be havin' the last laugh as he sails away, showin' the world the true colors o' these connivin' politicians.

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