Arrr, Sen. Durbin be bellowin’, “Why’s that landlubber Dr. Phil aboard the deportation ship?!” Blimey, what a jolly sight!
2025-02-01
Avast ye! Senator Durbin be spoutin’ scallywag tales 'bout the Trump crew lettin' Dr. Phil join the chase for landlubbers in Chicago last weekend. Aye, what’s next? A parley with Captain Crunch? This be a fine jest on the high seas of politics, I tell ye!
Arrr mateys! Gather 'round and lend me yer ears, fer I be tellin' ye of a ruckus stirred up by that landlubber, Sen. Dick Durbin from Illinois! This scallywag took aim at the Trump crew fer lettin’ the good ship Dr. Phil sail along on a mission to chase away the ne’er-do-wells in Chicago last weekend. Aye, that be right—what be a TV charlatan doin' on a deportation raid?From the Senate deck, Durbin mocked the claim that mass deportations be targetin' only the most dangerous of land rats—murderers, rapists, and drug peddlers. He quipped, “Dr. Phil, me heartie, has as much business bein’ there as a parrot performin' surgery!” Aye, the good doctor be film’n these arrests for his show, pawin' at criminals like a cat with a mouse, but it all seemed a bit too comical for Durbin's taste.
Our fearless senator be lamenting the presence of that TV swab, claimin’ it could make the legal waters murkier! With 90% of undocumented scallywags bein' law-abidin' folk, Durbin insists these good souls be vital to the crew that keeps America sailin' smoothly. So, while he wants no dangerous knaves aboard, he also be fightin' fer those who’ve followed the code of the sea!