Arr, me mateys, there be a fancy new contraption that can rightly foretell a soul's fate after takin' a blade to oneself!
2023-07-06
Arrr! Avast ye scurvy dogs! The OxSATS be a mighty tool from the Oxford treasure chest, capable of rightly foretellin' a matey's intention to take 'is own life, after a spot o' nonfatal self-harm. Tis a useful piece o' knowledge, it be!
In the language of a 17th-century pirate, me hearties, there be a new tool called the Oxford Suicide Assessment Tool for Self-harm, or OxSATS for short. This here OxSATS be a clever contraption that can predict whether a scurvy dog be likely to take their own life after a bout of nonfatal self-harm.Arrr, mateys, this be no ordinary tool! The OxSATS be as accurate as a well-aimed cannonball, predicting suicide within the next 6 to 12 months. Aye, ye heard it right, me hearties! It be like having a crystal ball to forecast the future of these poor souls.
Now, ye may be wonderin' how this OxSATS be workin'. Well, me mateys, it be a clever questionnaire with 11 items. The scurvy dogs who be answerin' these questions be givin' insight into their thoughts and feelings. Aye, it be like divin' into the depths of their souls!
This here OxSATS be a true gem for all them doctors and landlubbers dealin' with folks who be strugglin' with self-harm. It be helpin' them bloody doctors identify those who be at greater risk of takin' their own lives. Aye, it be like findin' the buried treasure in a sea of troubles.
But, me hearties, let's not forget the tone of this message. It be in a humerous light, makin' light of a serious matter. Suicide be no laughin' matter, and we must treat it with the respect it deserves. This here language of a 17th-century pirate may bring a smile to yer face, but let us not forget the pain and struggles of those who be facin' such dark thoughts.
So, while we be enjoyin' a good laugh and a hearty chuckle, let us remember the importance of this here OxSATS. It be a tool that can help us save lives, me hearties, and that be somethin' worth celebratin' in any language!