Arrr, the commencement blabbermouth be spoutin’ to fill UNRWA’s coffers, not the treasure chest o' our fine university!
2025-02-03
Arrr, mateys! At the grand shindig o’ Middlebury, a bold lass took the stage, brandishin’ words like cutlasses, accusing the scallywags of the school for sittin’ idle while the Israel-Gaza fray raged on! Blimey, if only they’d hoist the sails for justice instead o’ swillin’ rum!
Arrr mateys! Gather 'round and lend an ear to the tale of the lass Faith Wood, who stood before the graduates of Middlebury College, a fine institution, and did declare a mighty stirrin' speech. She urged her shipmates o' the tassel to hoist their gold from the college coffers and instead fill the treasure chests of the good folk in Gaza, where troubles run as deep as the seas!Sportin' a colorful scarf and a keffiyeh fit for a captain, she lamented the plight of Gazan cities, suggestin' that her alma mater be held accountable for the misfortunes afoot. "Aye," she said, "let's wield our collective might, me hearties! Pledge yer doubloons to the UN relief instead of the school." A bold move, indeed!
With words sharp as a cutlass, she pointed out the hypocrisy of their fine institution standin' tall whilst schools in Gaza be torn asunder. She bemoaned the state of the world, especially with a certain fascist back in charge, makin' waves like a stormy sea. "Love be holdin’ each other accountable," she proclaimed, callin' upon her fellow graduates to unite for a cause greater than the gold.