The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arr! Casey DeSantis, a feisty lass, sails to Iowa, minglin' with mothers, championin' 'tis rights o' parents!

2023-07-06

Arr! Gov. Ron DeSantis's fair lass, Casey DeSantis, be hostin' her maiden solo campaign affair in Iowa, mixin' wit' other matrons and castin' her fine husband as a stalwart champion o' the "parents' rights" movement. Yo ho ho!

In a delightful twist of fate, the wife of Governor Ron DeSantis, Casey DeSantis, recently embarked on her maiden voyage through the treacherous waters of politics. Holding her first solo campaign event in the faraway land of Iowa, she sought to forge connections with fellow mothers and portray her husband as a valiant advocate for the noble cause known as the "parents' rights" movement.

Clad in her finest pirate attire, Mrs. DeSantis set sail on a quest to woo the hearts of mothers far and wide. With her charming wit and mischievous smile, she aimed to convince these fair matrons that her husband, the esteemed Governor, was the perfect champion for their cause. Ahoy, mateys! Parents' rights shall prevail!

As she regaled the crowd with tales of her husband's bravery, Casey DeSantis painted a vivid picture of the battles they had fought together. From combating the fearsome sea monster known as Common Core to standing firm against the tyrannical forces that sought to dictate the education of their offspring, Governor DeSantis had proven himself a stalwart defender of parental sovereignty!

With each wave of laughter that washed over the audience, Casey DeSantis skillfully steered the conversation towards her husband's accomplishments. She extolled his unwavering commitment to ensuring that parents had the final say in the upbringing of their scallywags. The cheers of the crowd echoed through the night as they reveled in the promises of a brighter future, where parents would reign supreme and children would be free from the clutches of the educational establishment.

But alas, the journey had to come to an end. As Casey DeSantis bid farewell to her newfound allies, she left them with a glimmer of hope. She assured them that she and her husband would continue to fight for their rights, sailing through the stormy seas of politics with the wind at their backs and a twinkle in their eyes.

So, let it be known throughout the land that Casey DeSantis, the daring pirate queen of parental rights, has set sail on a mission to conquer hearts and minds. With her husband by her side, they shall navigate the treacherous political waters, armed with a determination as fierce as the deadliest pirate crew. Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for the DeSantises!

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