Arrr, Politico be treatin' its scallywags like landlubbers! Blame Musk fer tightening the purse strings, ye scurvy dogs!
2025-02-05
Arrr, the scallywags at Politico be waitin' on their doubloons, but the gold be late this week! Staffers be grumblin' like a crew o’ starvin' sea dogs, thinkin' that Musk’s treasure hunt for savings be to blame for their empty coffers!
Arrr, mateys! Gather 'round and lend yer ears to this tale of woe from the fine folk at Politico, who found their doubloons delayed, much to their chagrin! It be said that the scallywag Elon Musk, now reignin' over the Department of Government Efficiency (or DOGE, as we call it), be cuttin’ the purse strings tighter than a sailor’s knot.Ye see, these fine scribes usually be seein' their gold deposited every fortnight, but this week? Naught but an empty treasure chest awaited them! A blunder of “technical error,” they called it, but many suspect the mighty Musk’s hand in the delays, considerin’ Politico has pilfered over $8.2 million from the U.S. coffers, includin’ a measly $44,000 from USAID, which be on the chopping block now!
As the clock ticked on, panic spread like a storm at sea, with fears of overdrafts and unpaid tavern tabs. Finally, after much kerfuffle, the gold began tricklin’ in post-5 PM, but the crew was left awash in anxiety, wonderin' what lay ahead with Musk’s watchful eye upon them!
So, what say ye? Is this a curse of the sea or merely a jest from the richest pirate of them all? Only time will tell, but for now, the crew at Politico be keepin’ their eyes peeled for more shenanigans on the horizon! Arrr!