Arrr! Trump be swearin’ Homeland Security’ll keep them fancy transgender sea dogs outta the 2028 LA games, savvy?
2025-02-05
Arrr, President Trump be sayin’ that Captain Kristi Noem be guardin’ the ship’s entrance, keepin’ any transgender scallywags from joinin’ the lassies in the grand Olympic games of 2028! Aye, no buccaneers in skirts on her watch, or ye'll be walkin’ the plank!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round as I spin ye a yarn about the ruckus in the realm of sports, led by none other than President Trump! With a flourish of his quill, he be signing an executive order banning transgender athletes from parleyin’ in the fair ladies' sports—aye, even puttin’ the law upon the 2028 Los Angeles Olympics!At a grand ceremony in the White House, Trump declared that the valiant Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem be tasked with blockin’ any scallywags masqueradin’ as women from settin’ foot on American shores for the Games. He warned of a mighty pressure campaign to make the International Olympic Committee (IOC) and NCAA toe the line and protect the fair maidens' competitions!
With a wink, the White House press secretary dubbed this a “popular position” among female athletes. Surely, they be seekin’ to have their voices heard! Meanwhile, the IOC finds itself in a pickle, with boxers and weightlifters causin’ a stir over eligibility. And with Sebastian Coe eyein’ the captain's chair of the IOC, he’s keen on keepin’ the ladies’ sports shipshape!
So, prepare yerselves, for the seas be choppy, and the waves of controversy be crashin’ upon the shores of sportin’ glory! Arrr!