Arrr, the Politico be claimin’ no treasure from the king’s purse, while rumors fly like cannonballs ‘round the ship!
2025-02-06
Arrr, in a missive snatched from the depths, Politico's scallywags be claimin’ they ain't takin' no doubloons from the crown! Meanwhile, the White House be swearing to cut off their treasure chest. Aye, sounds like a right tempest in a teapot, matey!
Ahoy, ye landlubbers! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of the scallywags at Politico, who be claimin’ they don’t be baskin’ in the warm glow of government doubloons! They be denyin’ any tales of taxpayer gold fundin’ their subscription service, sayin’ it’s all a ruckus o' confusion, arrr!The captain o’ the ship, Goli Sheikholeslami, and his trusty matey, John Harris, sent a missive to their crew, declar’n that not a single gold coin—nay, not one—has been plundered from government coffers in 18 long years! Instead, they brag o’ their subscription service, Politico Pro, caterin’ to both the private and public sectors with treasures of information.
But lo and behold, the White House, led by the fierce press secretary Karoline Leavitt, declared that over $8 million of the king’s shillings had indeed been funneled to Politico, and it be stoppin’ right quick! They’s raisin’ the Jolly Roger against such waste, scrutinizin’ every farthing spent.
With claims of their riches from various government departments, it seems the tides be turnin’. So batten down the hatches, me hearties, for the seas of journalism be gettin’ stormy! Arrr!