Arrr, the Trump crew be settin' sail to snoop on SJSU and UPenn fer naughty Title IX shenanigans with trans buccaneers!
2025-02-06
Arrr, matey! The ol' Department of Education be set to hoist the sails on a grand investigation o' mischief under Title IX at the ports o' San Jose State, UPenn, and a pesky school in Massachusetts! Aye, let the shenanigans unfold!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn from the high seas o’ political shenanigans! Just after he signed a decree banishin’ trans athletes from the fair maidens’ sports, ol’ Captain Trump’s Department o’ Education set sail on an investigatin’ spree! They be eyein’ San Jose State, the University o’ Pennsylvania, and the Massachusetts Interscholastic Athletic Association, searchin’ for any scallywags breakin’ Title IX laws.Ye see, at UPenn, a certain swimmer named Lia Thomas, who once cavorted with the lads, decided to crash the women’s swim team, breakin’ records as easy as a pirate opens a treasure chest! Some lasses be feelin’ wronged and have launched a lawsuit, claimin’ they were hoodwinked into sharin’ locker rooms with a biologically male athlete.
Over in San Jose, a volleyball lass named Blaire Fleming caused a ruckus, leadin’ the charge in kills while hidin’ her birth sex from her teammates. Lawsuits be flyin’ like cannonballs! Meanwhile, the MIAA found itself in hot water when a trans athlete caused rival teams to forfeit matches.
So, as the winds of controversy blow, the DOE prepares to right the ship and assure fairness for the fairer sex in the realm of sports. Yarrr, what a tale indeed!