The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Ye be askin' 'bout Epstein's shady ties, and the new UK envoy be spouting curses like a drunken sailor!"

2025-02-07

Arrr, the freshly dubbed U.K. envoy to the high seas of Washington, Peter Mandelson, be givin' a right curt reply to a scallywag reporter's pryin'. When asked 'bout his dealings with the notorious knave Epstein, he just waved it off like a pesky fly on a muggy day!

"Ye be askin' 'bout Epstein's shady ties, and the new UK envoy be spouting curses like a drunken sailor!"

Arrr, me hearties! Gather 'round fer a tale o' the high seas of political scandal, where the new ambassador from London, Peter Mandelson, found himself in a right pickle! When a pesky reporter poked 'im about his past rendezvous with the infamous Jeffrey Epstein—ye know, the scallywag who met his end in a jail cell—Mandelson let loose a hearty "f--- off!" Aye, what a ruckus!

The lad lamented his acquaintance with Epstein, who sailed alongside the nefarious Ghislaine Maxwell, and expressed deep sorrow for the "hurt he caused to many young women." Aye, it be a choppy sea of regrets! Documents surfaced revealing a "particularly close relationship" between Epstein, Prince Andrew, and our dear Lord Mandelson. Not the sort o’ company ye want to be keepin’, I tell ye!

Despite the tempest, Mandelson tried to steer clear of blame, claiming he ain't no leftist scallywag, but a pro-business buccaneer! He even walked back comments callin’ President Trump a "danger to the world," sayin' times have changed. Talk about a turnaround faster than a ship in a squall!

So, there ye have it, mateys! A tale of ambition, mischief, and a sprinkle o' scandal, all afloat on the turbulent waters of diplomacy! Yarrr!

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