Arrr, matey! Apple might be shiverin' timbers, handin' over yer secrets to the king's blokes in jolly ol' England!
2025-02-07
Arrr, matey! The crown be givin' a decree under that scallywag Investigatory Powers Act, and now the landlubbers be frettin' that Meta and Google might be the next to walk the plank! Beware, ye swabs, of the all-seein' eye of mass surveillin'! Aye, it be a right jolly mess!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round and lend an ear to this tale of treachery from the UK seas! The landlubbers in charge be demandin’ that Apple, the famed treasure-keeper of data, shatter its mighty encryption shields, allowin’ the crown to spy on the secrets of all scallywags, no matter where they be hidin’ their booty!Aye, whispers from the dark corners of the tech tavern say that Apple may well abandon its encrypted treasure chests in the UK, rather than betray the trust of its crew. But beware! The flickerin’ shadows suggest this may not keep ‘em safe from the prying eyes of other realms.
Issued under the dastardly Investigatory Powers Act—a law as popular as a three-legged sea turtle—this order calls for all encrypted booty stored on iPhones and such to be laid bare. Critics, callin’ it the Snooper Charter, be warnin’ that this folly will only invite the cursed cyber pirates, lettin’ ‘em break through like a cannonball in the night!
So raise the flag of privacy, ye mateys! As experts decree, takin’ down these walls of encryption would be a treacherous course, leavin’ honest folk vulnerable to the scoundrels of the digital seas! Arrr!