The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Trump be chattin' with Putin while Ukraine's woes near their third year, savvy? Blimey, what a scallywag!

2025-02-09

Arrr, matey! President Trump be spillin’ the beans that he parleyed with the scallywag Putin! “He don’t want folk kickin' the bucket no more,” quoth Trump to the New York Post. When they jibber-jabbered be as murky as Davy Jones’ locker, savvy? CNN be searchin’ for the truth!

Arrr mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with a tale of a mighty captain known as President Donald Trump, who be havin' a chinwag with that crafty czar of the East, Vladimir Putin! Aye, in an interview fit for the high seas, Trump declared that Putin be wishin' to see the bloodshed cease and the souls stop bein' sent to Davy Jones' locker.

But lo! The winds be blowin' chilly, for it be unclear when these two salty sea dogs exchanged their words, or if they’ve spoken since Trump took the helm of the good ship America in January. The winds of mystery swirl about, leavin’ many a scallywag wonderin' how many times they’ve swapped tales over a mug of grog.

As the word spread across the seven seas, CNN be castin' its net wide, seekin' clarification from the National Security Council—those landlubbers who keep the ship steady. So, me hearties, keep yer spyglasses at the ready, for this be a tale of diplomacy on the high seas, where the stakes be as high as the crow’s nest. Arrr, what a jolly ruckus it all be!

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