The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Illinois university be in hot water, matey, after a landlubber professor got the boot for grumblin' 'bout colorin' the crew!

2025-02-12

Arrr matey! A learned chap from the University of Illinois, tossed overboard from his post, be claimin' he walked the plank fer chattin' about their scallywag race-based hiring schemes. He’s now seekin' treasure in the court, hopin' to right the wrongs o' the landlubbers!

Arrr! Illinois university be in hot water, matey, after a landlubber professor got the boot for grumblin' 'bout colorin' the crew!

Ahoy me hearties! Gather ye round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout the University of Illinois Chicago, or UIC as the landlubbers call it. It seems a former scholar, Professor Stephen Kleinschmit, be raisin' a ruckus with the law over what he claims be a treacherous hiring scheme, focused more on the color of a candidate's sails than their worthy skills!

In the year of our Lord 2023, Kleinschmit found himself cast off from the good ship UIC after objectin' to their "Bridge to Faculty" program, which be searchin' for candidates based on their race, gender, and even the sort of flag they fly! He feared the dark waters of retaliation might drown his career, but he mustered the courage to voice his concerns, only to be met with scorn from his fellow crew members!

Now, dear mates, the legal beagles at Liberty Justice Center be claimin' that UIC's practices be not only illegal but also a threat to the very fabric of academic integrity! They be demandin' that the court put a stop to this foolishness and restore fair winds to all hiring endeavors.

Kleinschmit now sails under a new flag at Northwestern University, thankin' the legal crew for helpin' him battle the storm of institutional corruption. So hoist the sails and keep an eye on this tale; it be one for the books, indeed!

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