"Arrr! Canada be makin' a fentanyl chief, heedin' Trump’s call, lest they walk the plank o' tariffs!"
2025-02-12
Arrr, matey! Canadian captain Trudeau be sendin' ol' Mountie Kevin Brosseau to wrangle them devilish fentanyl beasts, all 'cause Trump be threatenin' to toss some tariffs our way! Aye, what a jolly hullabaloo on the high seas of politics! Avast, let the pillagin' begin!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round, fer I’ve got a tale o' the Great White North makin’ waves with a new “fentanyl czar!” On Tuesday, in a deal struck with the landlubber, U.S. President Trump, Canada be givin' the ol’ heave-ho to extra tariffs on imports, shiver me timbers!Enter Kevin Brosseau, a rugged sea dog who’s been a Mountie fer decades—aye, from Manitoba to the very heart o' Trudeau’s crew! The lad's been fightin’ the scallywags o' drug traffickin' and organized crime, and now he’s on a mission to “detect, disrupt, and dismantle” the dastardly fentanyl trade. Yarrr, savvy move, eh?
But fear not, mates! Beyond the czar, ol’ Trudeau’s hatched a grand plan to spend $1.3 billion on border security, deployin’ Black Hawk choppers and drones like a true captain o’ the skies. Not to mention, they’ll be callin’ organized crime cartels what they truly are—terrorists!
While less than 1% o' the fentanyl woes face the north winds from Canada, any amount be too much, says Trudeau. So he be vowin’ to wipe that foul stuff from the earth! Aye, it’s a wild ride on the high seas of governance, but let’s hope our fair seas be safer soon! Arrr!