Avast, me hearties! Rubio be sayin' Fogel’s free from Russian clutches 'cause Trump’s got a mighty fine swagger! Arrr!
2025-02-12
Arrr, matey! On the high seas of politics, Secretary Rubio be shoutin’ that ol’ Marc Fogel be sailin’ free from the Russian brig, all thanks to a mighty strong captain sittin’ in the White House! Aye, ‘tis a tale of jolly good fortune for us landlubbers!
Arrr, gather 'round ye scallywags! It be a tale of Marco Rubio, the Secretary of State, who proclaimed that Marc Fogel, an American lad locked up in the cold clutches of Russia since 2021, be free at last, thanks to none other than the mighty captain, President Donald Trump! Aye, Rubio sang this shanty on the Fox News vessel known as "Hannity," claiming it be a grand feat of leadership!Rubio boasted that Marc be the tenth American to return home in just three weeks, crediting the strong hand of Trump, who he said made this ship sail smoothly. Under the previous crew—Biden and his mates—Fogel’s plight fell to the depths of the sea, left to languish without a compass. But now, it be a time of celebration for Fogel and his kinfolk!
Fogel, a teacher of history, found himself in a Russian dungeon for 14 long years over a stash of medically prescribed herbs. After a grand rescue mission, he returned stateside and hailed Trump as a hero! When asked if the U.S. parted with any treasure for Fogel’s freedom, Trump merely winked and said, “not much.”
Rubio declared that a strong captain be essential when dealing with other mighty leaders. With Trump at the helm, the seas of foreign policy may calm, leading to victories in far-off lands like Ukraine and the Middle East. So raise yer mugs, me hearties, for the power of strength and a merry reunion!