Arrr! Trump’s crew tossed out Biden’s scallywag rules on treasure for college lads—‘tis a right jolly jest, matey!
2025-02-12
Arrr matey! The U.S. Department o' Education be shakin' off the last-minute scribblin's o' the former captain, decreein’ that the treasure for name, image, and likeness be set sail no more! A fine day for a laugh on the high seas of bureaucracy, aye!
Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout the ruckus in the realm of education, where the United States Department of Education be hoistin' the sails and rescindin' the scallywag guidance from that Biden captain! Aye, it be a tale of names, images, and likenesses, where the coin that be flowin' from them colleges be makin' waves like a stormy sea.Our trusty Acting Assistant Secretary, Craig Trainor, be declarin' that the previous guidance be “profoundly unfair”, likin’ it to a barnacle-laden ship, weighin’ down the fine vessels of education. The old guidance, rammed through like a cannonball in the night, tried to make NIL payments akin to financial aid, sayin' it should be split fair and square 'tween the lasses and lads of the field.
But lo and behold! Trainor be sayin' there be no law to back that hullabaloo, claimin' that Title IX, that ancient parchment, don’t say a word 'bout how schools should toss gold coins among the athletes. So, the guidance be tossed overboard, and the seas be clearer once more!
In other news, the Education Department be callin' for the NCAA to strip them records from the transgender athletes, restor’n glory to those who be feelin' robbed. A right twisty tale, indeed, me hearties! So hoist yer flags and keep watch for more mischief on the horizon!