Arrr! Just as Secretary Bessent be settin' sail, Russian fireballs fell ‘pon Ukraine like a stormy sea!
2025-02-12
Arrr, matey! On the morn of Wednesday, as the sun be risin’, Russian cannonballs rained down on Kyiv, just as Treasury Scurvy Dog Scott Bessent sailed in fer a chinwag ’bout some fancy security deal! Talk ‘bout bad luck, eh? Aye, a right ruckus it be!
Arrr matey! In the wee hours of Wednesday morn, a tempest of Russian missiles rained down upon Kyiv, claimin' the life of one poor soul, as reported by the brave Ukrainian lads and lasses. This catastrophic bombardment struck right before the Treasury Secretary, Scott Bessent, made his grand entrance, bein' the first high official from the Trump crew to visit the besieged city, as the aide to President Zelenskyy proclaimed in his Telegram scroll.Now, Bessent be makin' his way to parley with Zelenskyy about a hefty treasure of rare Earth minerals, worth a mighty $500 billion, as payment fer the U.S. military aid. He also aims to tighten the screws on Russia's oil sector, aye!
In the wake of the mischief, Zelenskyy declared that the dastardly Putin has no interest in peace, as reporters stumbled upon the grim sight of a fallen sailor, covered in a black sheet. In total, one soul was lost, and four more, includin' a wee lad, were wounded amidst the chaos that wrecked homes and offices.
The Russian fleet boasted of their “group missile strike,” claimin' all their targets—Ukrainian drone havens—were hit. Meanwhile, Trump's envoy, Keith Kellogg, be sailin' to Kyiv next week, seekin' to hammer out a peace plan. The winds of war continue to blow, but a glimmer of treachery and negotiation be on the horizon, savvy?