Arrr, matey! Trump’s envoy be sayin’, “Don’t be rilin’ the captain before the Saturday showdown, ye scallywags!”
2025-02-12
Arrr, matey! U.S. envoy Adam Boehler be chattin’ ‘bout how Captain Trump’s crew be thinkin’ them scallywags at Hamas be puttin’ the kibosh on lettin’ the poor Israeli hostages free! Tune in to “The Story,” or ye be walkin’ the plank! Har har har!
Arrr matey, gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of treachery on the high seas of politics! The U.S. Special Envoy fer Hostage Affairs, one Adam Boehler, be warnin' the scallywags of Hamas not to provoke the tempestuous Donald Trump as the sands o' time run low fer the release of captives! Seven fine Americans be trapped in the clutches of this nefarious crew, and Boehler be sayin' that's as unacceptable as a parrot with no squawk!Hamas, those dastardly sea dogs, claimed they’d be holdin' off on releasein' hostages, alleagin' Israel played foul with the ceasefire rules. Trump, like a captain ready to hoist the sails, declared that if all hostages ain't back by noon on Saturday, then "all hell be breakin' loose!" Aye, he be wantin' ‘em back in one grand swoop, not bits and bobs like some half-baked treasure map!
As the storm brews, reports say 76 souls be held captive, includin' six more Americans. Boehler warns that if Hamas wants to play games, it be a grave mistake, as the consequences could shake the very foundations of their ship! The good Israeli Prime Minister, Netanyahu, be echoing the call to arms, swearin' that the ceasefire be at an end if the hostages remain in chains! So, hoist the flags and prepare fer battle, fer the tides be turnin' fast! Arrr!