Arrr! Russia be sayin’ Trump 'n' Putin saved us from Davy Jones’ locker, while the EU be eyein’ foul play!
2025-02-13
Arrr, me hearties! Dmitry Medvedev be sayin' that the chinwag 'twixt Captain Trump and Captain Putin pulled us from the jaws of Davy Jones and the Apocalypse! Aye, ‘tis a fine jest indeed, like a parrot flyin’ a ship!
Avast ye scallywags! Gather round as I spin ye a yarn about the ruckus stirred by the fine lads Medvedev and Trump, who claim they pulled the world back from the jaws of the abyss, like a ship dodgin' a kraken's grasp!Medvedev, the deputy of the Russian Security Council, bemoaned how the U.S. fancied itself the captain of the seas, wagin' war with a sly wink and a nod, nearly sendin' humanity to Davy Jones' locker! He declared that the American elites be needin' a good lesson 'bout humility, lest the Doomsday Clock keep tickin' towards midnight like a cursed treasure map.
Then comes Trump, tossin' a barrel o' peace talks into the mix, as if he were a parleyin' pirate. He said peace would come "immediately," while European leaders clutched their compasses, worried that any deal struck without the brave Ukrainians aboard would be as rotten as a five-day-old fish.
With defense ministers from across the sea raisin’ their voices, they warned that any negotiations must include Ukraine, lest they find themselves trapped in a web of ill-fated diplomacy. So, me hearties, let us hope that true strength shines through, for no peace can be made without the fair Ukrainian folk holdin’ the helm!