Arrr, NYC scallywags be overjoyed with Homan's arrival, vowin' to aid the border captain against the pesky progressive pirates!
2025-02-14
Arrr! Captain Tom Homan, handpicked by the scallywag Trump to guard the treasure-filled borders, parleyed with the fine folk of the NYC Council’s Common Sense Crew, including the swashbucklin’ Bob Holden. A right merry gathering, no doubt, to chart the course for landlubber safety!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round as I regale ye with the tale of New York City’s council, a crew of progressives, meetin’ with none other than the Border Czar hisself, Tom Homan! On a fateful day, he parleyed with the likes of Mayor Eric Adams and a motley crew of moderates, led by the landlubbers Bob Holden and Joann Ariola.In a ruckus not unlike a scallywag’s brawl, Homan was riled to learn of a new haven for migrants, a shelter holdin’ 2,200 beds in the Bronx! “Get me that address!” he bellowed, ready to defend the seas—or rather, the streets—of his native land. Councilwoman Kristy Marmorato, the lone Republican in the Bronx, declared “enough is enough” about these so-called “migrant dumps.”
Holden, a swashbuckler who dethroned a Democrat tenfold in campaign funds, called the meetin’ a “productive” one, while Adams hoped for more than mere words from Homan. The council’s Republican crew pledged to fight for their districts, with every lass and lad vowin’ to keep their homes safe from marauding migrants!
And amidst the squabbles, Councilwoman Susan Zhuang, an immigrant herself, stood firm, pleading to distinguish between the scallywags and the decent folk. “Find the criminals and deport them, yes,” she quoth, “but leave good families be!” Arrr, what a ruckus in the Big Apple! Yarrr!