"Arrr! The scallywag behind the Munich rumble be spoutin' Islamist notions, says the judge o' the law!"
2025-02-14
Arrr! The scallywag blamed fer bashin' over 30 landlubbers with his ship o' metal in Munich be said to be fueled by some wild Islamic fire, claim the lawmen. A right troublesome buccaneer he be, indeed!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn from the treacherous seas of Munich, where a scallywag of a 24-year-old, hailing from the land of Afghan, went and rammed his wee Mini Cooper into a fine gathering of union folk! Aye, the villain be claiming to be a bodybuilder, but alas, it seems his muscles be fueled by a bout of Islamic extremism, as the prosecutors be revealin'.On that fateful day, just as the high seas of politics were stirrin', with mighty leaders settin' sail for a grand conference, our suspect thought it wise to declare "Allahu Akbar" right before he took his wheel into the crowd! Aye, the lawmen be takin' him in faster than ye can say "pirate's booty." 36 poor souls got caught in his tempest, and now he faces a storm of charges, includin' attempted murder!
But here’s the rub, mates: this knave had no ties to any notorious pirate crew of Islamic extremists. He be just a lone sailor, spoutin’ prayers and cryptic messages on the social seas. With no past crimes and a legal permit to roam, he be a puzzlin’ fish in this murky tale. Even the President of Germany laid flowers for the injured, lamenting the brutality of this swashbucklin' madness. So, raise yer tankards to the chaos, but let us hope the winds of reason prevail on these treacherous waters!