Arrr, Hegseth be claimin’ he and Vance be singin’ the same shanty, even after the VP’s blunderin’ talk!
2025-02-14
Arrr, matey! On a fine Friday, the landlubber Defense Sec Hegseth be quizzed 'bout sendin' our brave lads to Ukraine, right after Vice President Vance swore the option be still floatin' like a cannonball in the briny deep! Blimey, what a merry jest!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn from the high seas of politics! The good Captain Hegseth, the Secretary of Defense, be sayin’ that the chances of U.S. troops settin’ sail for Ukraine be slim as a sailor’s waistline after a week at sea! Yet, he swears there be “no daylight” between him and the Vice Captain Vance. Talk about a tempest in a teapot!At a parley in Poland, Hegseth first be throwin’ cold water on the idea of U.S. boots on Ukrainian soil, but then he leaves the door ajar like a scallywag at the tavern! He claims he’d never tie the President’s hands when negotiatin’ with those scurvy dogs from Russia and Ukraine.
Meanwhile, Vance, the Vice Captain, be spoutin’ that sendin' troops is still “on the table,” like an old map waiting to be unfurled. He be talkin’ of usin’ both “economic tools” and “military tools” to bring the ruckus to an end—perhaps with a deal that’ll make ye jaws drop!
Yet, Hegseth be raisin’ eyebrows back home, sayin’ there be no U.S. troops deployin’ to Ukraine. Senate Captain Wicker calls it a “rookie mistake”! And ole Trump be hopin’ to end the war quicker than ye can say “landlubber,” claimin’ he’s got Putin ready to talk peace. What a tangled web these seafarin’ folk be weavin’!