The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! A crafty landlubber be schemin' a school raid, callin' it 'Parkland part two!' Blimey, what folly!

2025-02-14

Arrr, matey! A scallywag of a lass from Indiana be accused of schemin’ to unleash chaos on Valentine’s Day, callin’ it “Parkland part two”! Aye, what a swashbucklin’ tale! But fear not, for this be more folly than fury, like a parrot squawkin’ in a storm!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round fer a tale of a scallywag named Trinity J Shockley, a lad of 18 summers hailing from the fair seas of Indiana. This young buccaneer be accused o' plotting a dastardly deed on the day o' love, Valentine's Day, a date infamous for the foul carnage at Parkland High! Arrr!

Locked away in the brig of Morgan County, Shockley, who goes by the names Jamie or Dex, be charged with the felony o' conspiracy to commit murder. The plot thickened when the FBI caught wind, thanks to a tipster, that our pirate had ordered an AR-15 and a bulletproof vest, dreamin’ of a grim follow-up to the Parkland tragedy! Aye, it seems he had a shrine dedicated to notorious mass shooters in his quarters, filled with pictures and memorabilia from their ghastly deeds. What a hoot!

In his scribbled thoughts, he claimed to have "homicidal thoughts," and spoke of wanting to wipe out the scum o' humanity. His conversations on the high seas of Discord had him speakin’ of “Parkland part two.” But when confronted by the law, he spun a yarn sayin’ it was all a jest wrought from frustration. Aye, what a tangled web this lad be caught in! The moral o' this tale, mates? Even rough seas can lead to calmer waters with a bit o' help from the crew! Yarrr!

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