Arrr! Complaints o' blocked hydrants be swellin' like a bloated fish, thanks to bike lanes an' scarce lawmen!
2025-02-17
Arrr, matey! The landlubbers be squawkin’ 'bout cursed carriages blockin’ the water spouts! Since the plague hit, the grumblin’s soared like a ship in a storm—blamin’ bike lanes and the scallywags in blue! Calls be shootin’ up ’tis like a cannon blast from 11,886 to over 100,000! Blimey!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of fire hydrants bein’ choked by cursed landlubber vehicles! Aye, it seems the scallywags be blockin' our precious sources o' water since the plague swept through, makin’ the numbers soar like a ship in full sail!Back in the year of our Lord 2014, there were but a mere 11,886 grumbles from sailors callin’ in about their hydrants bein’ blocked. But lo and behold, by the time the year 2020 rolled around, that number swelled to a whopping 64,346! Blimey! And now, every year since, it be over 100,000 cries for help, as if the whole port be a-takin’ on water!
Critics be pointin’ their fingers at the bike lanes and the scarcity of constables keepin’ watch. Aye, it be a fine mess when yer fire hydrants be more obstructed than a treasure map in a storm! So heed me words, ye landlubbers: clear the way for the water, or ye may find yerselves in Davy Jones' locker when the flames be a-risin’ high!
So next time ye see a parked ship o' metal blockin’ a hydrant, remember the peril it brings, and give it a hearty shove or a good ol’ pirate’s curse!