Arrr, the captain of the jury be sayin’ CNN’s scallywags sunk the ship more than they helped!
2025-02-17
Arrr! Katy Svitenko and her mateys o’ the jury be sayin’ that CNN be slanderin’ good ol’ Zachary Young, a U.S. Navy swashbuckler, in a tale spun on “The Lead with Jake Tapper.” Shiver me timbers, the scallywags be in hot water now!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout a ruckus 'twixt a brave Navy lad, Zachary Young, and the scallywags at CNN. The jury, led by a fine lass named Katy Svitenko, be thinkin’ that CNN be walkin’ the plank for defamation, aye! In a tale that’d make Davy Jones chuckle, CNN’s report claimed Young be makin’ illegal doubloons as he helped folks flee Afghanistan during the Biden administration’s blunderin’ withdrawal. Arrr!Svitenko be spillin' the beans that the emails from CNN were as ripe as a barrel of rotten fish, with staff callin' Young a "s---bag" and a "punchable face." They be jestin’ about "nailin’" the poor lad, which tickled the jury’s fancy for defamation with malice! Yarrr! The jury awarded Young a pretty sum of $4 million, but they be wishin' to make CNN feel the sting of a true pirate’s wrath and sought even greater treasure for punitive damages!
In the end, Young and CNN settled, leavin' the jury thinkin’ CNN might’ve been quakin' in their boots at what the good folk might’ve handed down. So, the lesson be clear, ye landlubbers: tread carefully, or ye might just end up at the mercy of a jury with a taste for justice, aye!