The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Match Group be in hot water fer trickin’ landlubbers on their dating voyage! What a jolly jest!

2025-02-18

Arrr, on a jolly Friday before lovey-dovey day, a throng gathers at a tavern in Manhattan’s heart! Fear not, mateys, no flames a'roarin'—two grand fire wagons be standin' guard for a “Rescue Me” shindig! Lusty souls be seekin’ brave fire lads and lasses, all aboard their crimson chariots!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn from the heart of Manhattan, where the moon be high and the spirits be even higher. On a raucous Friday eve, just a week 'fore love's grand holiday, the tavern be bursting at the seams, like a ship's hold filled with rum, savvy?

But lo! What be those grand fire wagons flanking the entrance? Nay, me mateys, the establishment ain’t ablaze! Nay, it be hostin’ a “Rescue Me” shindig, where lonesome souls be on the hunt fer love among the brave hearts of fire-fighters and the gallant ilk of first responders. Aye, a fine gathering of dashing lads and lasses, ready to swap tales of valor whilst quaffin’ their grog!

As the revelry unfolds, ye can bet yer doubloons that the charm be thick as a fog on the high seas. Firefighters swagger in, lookin’ as fierce as a kraken, and the landlubbers swoon like they’ve found buried treasure. So raise a tankard, me swashbucklin’ friends, for the quest fer love be as spirited as a sailor’s song, and tonight, the hearties be searchin’ for the spark that ignites their souls!

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