"Arrr! Yankee scallywag nabbed for shifty cargo in Russia, freed like a parrot in a squabble 'twixt Moscow and Washington!"
2025-02-18
Avast, matey! A Yankee scallywag caught in the Russian jaws for peddlin' potions was set free, just in time for a parley in the sands o' Saudi! Aye, even in the world o' high seas, deals be struck to keep the tide from risin' too high! Arrr!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather round fer a tale of adventure and mischief on the high seas o' international law! A brave scallywag, Kalob Wayne Byers be his name, found himself caught in a right pickle in the icy waters o' Russia. The lad was snared at Vnukovo airport with a treasure most peculiar—cannabis-laden marmalade! Aye, ye heard me right; marmalade! Who knew such a sweet bounty could lead to such trouble?On the seventh day of February, whilst travelin’ from Istanbul alongside his fair Russian lass, Naida Mambetova, the customs bearded brutes laid claim to his contraband and dragged him away to the dungeons! Aye, dear reader, the charges be severe—up to a decade behind bars fer smuggling, like a pirate with a chest o’ stolen gold.
Yet, fear not! Just a fortnight later, Byers was freed, courtesy of the U.S. embassy, waitin’ to sail home. Rumors abound that his release be a clever ploy to keep the peace with the land o' vodka and balalaikas, just before a grand meeting in Saudi Arabia to hash out the tussles over Ukraine. A merry outcome indeed, if only his lass be freed as well! So, raise a toast to our seafaring friend, who dodged the gallows this time, but let this be a lesson—no more marmalade smuggling, savvy?